


Wish We Never Met

by liv1021



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liv1021/pseuds/liv1021
Summary: Will Castiel accept your advances?





	Wish We Never Met

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, well I hope whoever reads this likes it, a little at least.This is my first time posting a fic so I was nervous to do so. Feedback is encouraged. Constructive criticism and what have you.  
> I'd place this in Season 12 of Supernatural.  
> Obviously, I don't own these characters or anything. I just wanted to write a work about Castiel haha.

You had known the Winchesters for a few years now. You met them on a hunt in the middle of Wyoming and kicked a little ghost ass together. Now something is hunting hunters and you are reluctantly headed to stay with them at the bunker in Kansas. Sure, you’re grateful that they’re taking you in despite imminent danger, but you’re unsure of how this will go. You’ve been on the road alone for so long, how was living with two other hunters, two male hunters….two HOT male hunters…going to pan out? Obviously, they’re both unbelievably hunky in totally different ways. Sam, being the ultimate buff nerd that’s overflowing with sensitivity, yet has a seductively secret dark side; and Dean who is the gorgeous, seemingly uncaring, bad boy who harbors sensitivity deep within his shell of alcohol and guilt. Not only are their personalities glaringly different, but their looks are also completely opposite, except the fact that they are both hot, of course. Both are tall, but Sam is basically a giant, with beautiful brown hair and hazel eyes while Dean has short lighter colored hair and emeralds for eyes. While you had spent many nights picturing yourself in a Winchester sandwich, you know that this stay has to remain platonic in every way, shape, and form. They are good allies and friends, and you can’t ruin business relationships with pleasure.

You pull up next to Dean’s Impala at the bunker, grab your bags and make your way to the door. You stand there feeling unsure if you should knock or just walk in because you had only been to the bunker a couple times before and you had always shown up with the boys, but on the other hand you are going to be living there for an undetermined amount of time. You start to notice the weight of your bags as you begin to panic about such an unimportant dilemma, but you continue to stand there feeling more dumb and weighed down by the moment.The door suddenly opens and Dean is heading out in a hurry, he’s looking back hollering, mid-sentence, “…before Y/N gets here…”, and he doesn’t see you in your panic stricken stupor. He collides with you, knocking you down. You land on your ass a little harder than you should’ve due to all the extra weight.

“Y/N! Aw damn! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there! Are you alright?!” Dean grabs your bags effortlessly and helps you up.

“I’m alright. It’s ok. It’s good to see you again.” You try to laugh casually, but you can hear your own embarrassment.

“Yeah…yeah, it’s good to see you again too.” Dean replies with a cute smile. You brush yourself off as Dean gestures for you to go inside. He follows you in and down the stairs, you can see Sam in the next room sitting at one of the large wooden tables. As you approach, Sam looks at you, “Oh hey, Y/N.” He smiles at you, his expression friendly. You smile back and greet him. He looks at Dean behind you carrying your stuff and gives a little chuckle as he says, “Chivalry, huh?”

“Yeah, well, I accidentally knocked her on her ass on my way out so it’s the least I can do.” Dean says as he sets your stuff down by the table. “Anyway, Sammy, you wanna show Y/N her room? I’m going to go get some food. You want anything specific?” He turns to you.

“Uh, no, not really. Cheeseburger and a pop or whatever works.”

“A woman after my own heart.” He says jokingly as he places his hand on his chest. He clicks his tongue and pops a finger gun as he turns to leave. You laugh and look at Sam who is now standing, holding your stuff ready to show you to your room.

“Chivalry, huh?” You say, parrot-ting his earlier comment to Dean. He laughs and says “Yeah, well, I can’t let Dean look like the polite one.” He leads you through the halls of the bunker to a closed room. He opens the door and sets your stuff inside.

“I’ll leave you to get settled in.” He says, but before he can leave you grab his arm.

“Hey….I just wanted to say…thanks. I appreciate you guys letting me stay here and I plan make it up to you guys however I can. Cleaning, research…I can even cook, pretty well I might add. I know it’s not much…” Sam cuts you off, “That is more than enough. We really don’t mind having you here, in fact, it’ll be nice to have someone other than just Dean to talk to.” He gives you a reassuring smile and places his large hand on your shoulder before leaving you to your lonesome.

You put your clothes and toiletries away and place your few favorite belongings you’ve managed to keep over the years around the room. A look over of the small but quaint room inspired a strange feeling of home that you hadn’t felt for ages it seemed. You could definitely get used to this. Someone gives a quiet knock on your door, you rush over and open it with vigor. It’s both Sam and Dean. They’re so cute.

“We just wanted to see how your liking your room.” Sam says, an undertone of concern.

“And to tell you that the food has arrived.” Dean adds like it’s the best news possible.

“I love the room, thanks you guys so much. And also thank you for the food. You guys like meatloaf? I insist on making one tomorrow. Or something else, if you like.” You stop yourself from rambling any longer, but you noticed Dean’s eyes light up at the word meatloaf.

“We’re not picky. Whatever you want to make is fine, but it’s not necessary.” Sam smiles and begins to walk away. Dean lingers and gives you an excited look, “Meatloaf is always necessary.” He follows Sam and once again you’re left alone. Smiling, you head after them, ready to dig in to that cheeseburger calling your name.

 

The next few weeks were rather uneventful, except for everyone getting used to you being there. Sam seemed to appreciate your help with research and cleaning more than anything. You found you had more in common than you originally thought in TV shows, books, movies, music, and the general thirst for knowledge. Dean really, really appreciated having three home cooked meals a day. He laughed at your bad jokes fairly regularly and he also seemed thrilled that you like the same music as him, and less thrilled that you also like the same music as Sam.

You just get back to the bunker from getting some groceries and make your way down the stairs wondering about the car parked outside when you see an unfamiliar man in a tan trench coat sitting in the War Room. “Uh, hello?” You ask, timidly. He stands and turns to look at you. He’s incredibly attractive. As attractive, if not more, than the Winchesters. His hair is short, dark brown and slightly unkempt, his eyes are a gorgeous blue, his lips are full and pink and awfully bite-able, and chiseled jawline and chin is covered in slight scruff. He’s a bit taller than you and you wanna climb him and never let go. He clears his throat, and gives a gruff but somehow soft, “Hello.” His voice, oh god, his voice. You could listen to him read VCR instructions and you’d be turned on. You stand there, unsure of who this handsome stranger is. You completely taken off guard by him. He clears his throat again. “Oh, uh, I’m Castiel. I’m a friend of Sam and Dean’s.”

“Nice to meet you. Well, I’m Y/N. I’ve been staying here while we try to figure out what’s nabbing hunters.”

“I’ve been out investigating leads into that exact matter, but to no avail.”

“So you’re a hunter too?”

“Not exactly…” Castiel’s cut off by the door opening loudly. You both watch Dean stroll down the stairs, followed by Sam. Both of them have their arms full of liquor bottles. Dean sounds excited as he says, “Hey Cas. Nice to see you, man. I see you’ve met Y/N.” Dean looks at you. “This is Castiel, he’s an angel. They’re usually dicks, but Cas? He’s a good guy.” Dean slaps Castiel on the back and gives him a sly look. Castiel gives him a slight dirty look and then redirects his attention at you. Dean continues, “Cas is going to be here for little while helping with research.” An angel, huh? Well his face could be described as angelic. Although you’d been a hunter for awhile you hadn’t dealt with angels like the boys had. You don’t really know much about them, you realize. Do they have white fluffy wings? Halos? You found yourself deep in angel thoughts and could indistinctly hear the boys talking and moving around you. “Y/N!” Sam snaps his fingers in front of your face. “You with us?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry.” You laugh shyly. “You guys hungry? I can start making dinner. Extra for you?” You point at Castiel. “Oh, I do not require food to survive.” Damn, he’s sexy. “Okey dokey.” is all you say and you head to the kitchen. As you start to make dinner you realize that they sure had a lot of booze, even for them. That’s never good. So angels don’t eat food, can they get drunk? You’d have to do a bit of research on them later.

After dinner is made and eaten you sit with these three handsome men in the room where research is usually done, only instead of being covered with books the tables were covered with bottles of alcohol. It turns out angels can get drunk, it just takes A LOT of liquor. It was quite humorous to watch Castiel match a whole bottle to a shot for Sam or Dean. You even drank more than usual and were starting to feel a buzz. Eventually the bottles piled higher and the boys’ words began to slur, even Castiel’s a little. You swore he had been watching you from across the table all night. Every time you looked at him, his eyes would suddenly dart elsewhere. As an angel, did he date much? A lot? Ever? How old was he? Could he love? Maybe it was the booze….it is probably the booze…but you feel a surge of confidence. You look across the room to see Sam and Dean drunkenly arguing about something stupid. It was getting pretty heated so they’d probably be busy for awhile. Enough time to get to know this delicious hunk of a celestial being. “Sooo…Cas….tell me about yourself! What’s being an angel like?!” You blurt out, smiling as sweetly as you can. Castiel gives you an amused smile. “Well, honestly, it’s very different than being a human. I was a human once and I remember emotions being very intense. I don’t feel them as intensely anymore, but I still feel them, which is sort of irregular for angels. Like being drunk. I’m drunk, but not as drunk as they are.” He looks at Sam and Dean who still haven’t settled their dispute. “And self care. I don’t need to worry about that much now. Needing to sleep, to eat, to urinate, to clean oneself…” He smiles sweetly as he reminisces on old times. “It was almost infuriating how much work it took to maintain my human body, but it could also be enjoyable. I often miss the taste of food. Now I just taste molecules.Bathing was also quite nice.” You watch him intently as he talks, taking in the sound of his voice, the way he moves, his facial expressions…if you died and went to heaven, you’d just be in a room naked with him.That thought alone will ensure that you don’t get into heaven by itself. The thought of naked Castiel awakens something deep inside you. A carnal itch that only he could scratch, but that doesn’t mean you won’t try in the mean time. Castiel clears his throat. He sure does that a lot for not really having bodily functions. You lean across the table letting your cleavage show. He immediately looks nervous, his eyes quickly look from your chest to your face and all around the room.“So can angels feel attraction? Can they feel turned on?” You sure hope so.

“It’s not entirely common, and it’s forbidden by heaven, but it does happen.”

“Forbidden?” You stand up, immediately feeling foolish.

“Only because the offspring of human and angel is a nephilim, an incredibly powerful being.” He offers, matter of factly.

“Well, ok.” You feel a little defeated. No Winchesters, no beautiful angel love. “I think I’m going to hit the hay.” You announce to the room and immediately head off to bed.

 

You wake up the next morning, sweaty from lusty Castiel dreams. You glance at your phone to see that it’s 8. Dean would be expecting a nice greasy breakfast after a night of drinking like that. He was going to have to wait though. You reflect back on your dreams, _Castiel kissing you, holding you_ …your hand moves down your body to your clit, which you massage fervently. _He kisses your neck and sucks your ear as his hands travel up your shirt._  You rub even faster, your orgasm building. _He rolls your nipples between his fingers._  You finally cum with a quiet moan of his name. You feel a little better, but not as good as you could feel with some heavenly help.

After you clean yourself up, you put on shorts and a sports bra and throw over your robe. You walk to the kitchen to make coffee, but coffee is already made. You grab a cup and head to the party scene from last night to assess the damage. You cringe at the thought of the mess you all probably made last night, but when you get there everything is clean. Sam and Dean are already awake and eating food brought from a diner. Castiel notices you first and gives you a sweet good morning. The boys grunt some form of hungover greeting at you. Cas notices your confused look, “I don’t sleep, remember? So I cleaned up last night and made sure to have everything that hungover humans require.” He looks proud and you sure appreciate all of it. “Oh my, thank you.” You give him a quick kiss on the cheek and gather up your food. You all sit there quietly, devouring your meals.

Everyone seemed to be growing frustrated over the course of the next few weeks. All any of you had done was research, placing calls with little luck, and inferring on what or who could be killing hunters. You had managed to use bits of your time to get to know Castiel better and tell him a bit about yourself. Sam and Dean became noticeably antsier by the hour. You were worried, but couldn’t help but be more sexually frustrated due to the extreme sexiness of Castiel. The boys need a hunt, and you need some time alone with Cas. They would insist he stay here so you’re not alone. You do a little looking into papers from towns a couple states away and find something in Kentucky. The boys sit across from you at the large wooden table, Castiel next to you, now would be the best time to bring it up. “So, guys, you seem way on edge. I think you need to get out on a hunt, and it just so happens I found one. Maybe you’ll pick up a lead, or just blow off some steam, who knows? But I think it’d be good for you.” Sam and Dean share a look. Dean speaks, “Ok. What do ya got?”

You give the boys all the details. Possible werewolf in small town, Kentucky. They seemed excited to get out and Castiel had offered to go, to your disdain, but they insisted he stay, just like you figured they would. Normally, it would bother you to be treated like an inferior hunter, just because you’re a woman, but it worked in your favor this time. The door slams with a deafening thud as Sam and Dean walk out, leaving you standing alone with Cas by the staircase. This had seemed like such a good idea, until this very moment. Now that you are alone with him, you’re not sure what to say. He seems unsure too, as he regards you silently. You stare back at him, a smile slowly creeps onto your face. “Well, I’m going to look….something up…” you laugh a little. “I’ll join you, if you don’t mind, that is.” Castiel replies.

“Oh, not at all.” You look through the books on the shelves and happen to see one on  sacrificial rituals. You were pretty much grasping at straws at this point. You grab the book and sit down across from Castiel. You try to do a little reading, but your eyes keep wandering up to see what Cas is doing. Sitting quietly, like usual. He absentmindedly licks his pink lips. That tongue, you’d sure like to see him put it to good use, on you. You’d read somewhere that a man’s lips and head of his penis are the same color. He runs his hand through his sexy, untamed hair. It’s probably soft, like a feather…and his penis. He clears his throat…again. You think back to previous times, and he always seemed to do that when you were thinking of him. __CASTIEL!__  Castiel’s eyes dart up to yours, like he read your mind. “Are you freaking kidding me?! You can read my mind?!” You stand up feeling like your mind has been invaded. Castiel remains seated, “Yes. I can. Only when you are praising me, though. It’s not much different than outright praying to me.” He stays calm, despite your obvious discomfort at the fact that he’s heard every dirty thought you’d had about him this last week. “Ok, well I am so profoundly embarrassed. I need to be alone.” You head to your room.

You lay in bed for a few hours, considering your options. There weren’t many. You could leave and never return. You could stay in here forever. You could try to avoid Castiel, it would only be really hard until Sam and Dean return. They had only been gone for part of a day and you had already made a fool out of yourself. They’ll be gone for at least another couple days. You are starting to get hungry, unfortunately. You get up and open your door as quietly as possible. You peer into the hallway, and the coast is clear. You just needed to get to the kitchen and back to your room, undetected. You creep down the hall, but when you get to the kitchen you see Cas is in there already, but his back is turned. Maybe you had some munchies hidden in your room. You make your way back unnoticed. Avoiding him was already working out just fine.

 

You wake up in the morning, absolutely starving. That half a bag of stale chips didn’t do much for you last night. You check your phone to see a missed call from Dean. You promptly call him back, hoping everything is alright.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey, you called? What’s going on?”  
”I could ask you the same thing.” Dean says wryly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Cas called me last night. He didn’t say much, except that he upset you and now you won’t talk to him. What happened?”

“Ohhhhh god. Well, first off, thanks for the heads up on how prayer works. Apparently if you have lusty thoughts about an angel, they can hear it! And that is exactly what happened. I am sooooooo embarrassed, Dean. I can’t face him!” You hear Dean bust out laughing and Sam in the background, confused. His voice comes over the phone, “Y/N, you gotta tell me what’s going on.” He sounds like he’s smiling and you can still hear Dean laughing. They need this. You tell Sam basically what you told Dean, he still laughs at your situation, but he clearly doesn’t find your pain as amusing as Dean. “Uhh, well, I think you just need to talk to him. Cause it sounds like he’s pretty concerned.” Sam advises, a smile still in his voice.

“Yeah, ok. Easier said than done. How’s your case going?”

“It’s going fine. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out who the werewolf is. We’ll gank ‘em then be home.”

“Well please, please hurry. But also be very careful, both of you. I hope you both know that I love you guys, be safe.”

“We love you too, take care.” You hang up the phone and your stomach grumbles loudly. You can’t face him yet, so you shower and get dressed for the day, picking something a little more tight fitting than usual, on the off chance that he’ll be into it. You make your way to the kitchen, Castiel has made you coffee, but he’s elsewhere for the moment. You take this opportunity to stock up some food and head back to your room. You eat, clean up a little, and lay on your bed listening to music. Avoiding Castiel was going swimmingly, until you hear a light knock on your door. You get up and open it, and of course it’s him. “Can I come in?” he asks, in that gruff voice that makes your knees weak. You step aside, usher him in, and sit down on your bed. He’s quiet for a moment as he looks around your room. You realize that this is the first time he’s ever been in here. “Y/N. I know that you think you’re attracted to me, but this is just the body of the vessel that I happened to choose several years ago. In fact, my true visage would kill you.”

“Yes, because my attraction to you is solely based on your looks and has nothing to do with the fact that I got to know you these past few weeks. You know, I may be an emotionally stunted hunter, but even I’m not that shallow.”

“That came out wrong…”

“Did it? Do you really just think of me as some child that has deluded myself into having a little crush?”

“Of course not. I…I…care for you too. I think you’re beautiful, captivating, I feel joy when you’re around, and I feel despair when you’re not. You make me feel like I’m human again, and that scares me.” Castiel stands in front of you, you’re still seated on the bed. “You don’t need to be scared…” You say quietly. He leans down, reaches out, grabs your face and unexpectedly plants his lips on yours. He kisses you very sweetly. You can’t even believe that this is actually happening. You grab his tie and pull him on top of you as you lay back. He stays elevated over you on his knees and hands, continuing to kiss you deeper by the second. You run your fingers through his soft hair, over his stubbly face, trying to capture this near perfect moment. His lips are soft and warm, his mouth has a slight hint of minty freshness. Up this close you can inhale his scent, it was hard to place and nearly nonexistent, but you swear it’s the smell of a rainy day. Suddenly he breaks away from the kiss, but only to quickly shrug off his trench coat and suit jacket. He loosens his tie and pulls it over his head. You take this opportunity to pull your shirt off and begin to unbutton Castiel’s. Once that’s off, he unbuttons and unzips your pants, pulling them off of you and discarding them on the floor. He stops for a second on his knees still to look at your body, only covered with bra and panties now. “What are you doing to me?” He asks, looking down at his tented pants, a smirk on his face. You sit up and kiss his chest up to his neck and nibble his ears as you work to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. Simultaneously, he is trying, very hard, to take off your bra. It’s adorable. You reach into his boxers and grab ahold of his incredibly perfect sized member. The head plump and pink, just like you had pictured. You stroke his shaft, eliciting a low moan from Castiel. It fuels you, you __need__ him. You reach back and undo your bra with ease, Cas gives you a sheepish look, until he realizes that your breasts are now free. He cups them appreciatively. You lay back again so he can pull off your panties. He admires your body again before he centers himself over you. You spread your legs and work his cock inside of you, gasping at his thickness. He eases in slowly, giving you little kisses, maintaining eye contact, monitoring you to make sure you’re alright. He feels absolutely amazing. He stills once he’s completely inside of you, letting you get used to him. He smiles down at you, he looks so glorious. He begins to move his hips slowly, you rock yours in rhythm, causing you both to moan. Castiel picks up speed ever so slightly until eventually he begins to slam into you. His sweet expression replaced by a dark desire for you. He suddenly pulls out and moves on to his knees. He pushes your legs together and picks up your butt effortlessly so you’re level with his dick. He enters you once again and slams into you with a sexy grunt. He keeps up his quick pace making you gasp his name as you cum. This sends him over the edge, he pulls out just before he cums, which causes him to drop you down onto the bed and shower you.

 

Castiel leaves to grab a towel and promptly cleans you up, like the sweet gentleman he is. He takes his pants completely off, finally, and lays down next to you. You kiss him and snuggle up to him, putting you head on his chest and wrapping your legs around one of his. He grabs your chin and moves your face to look up at his. “How are you?” He seems concerned.

“I am so wonderful. How are you, more importantly?”

“I’m better than I have ever been. I just really wanted to make sure that was enjoyable for you. I’m…well, I’m not very experienced. I’ve only done that once before, when I was human. Things did not work out well.” He sounds embarrassed.

“Are you joking? That was incredible! In fact, I never would have guessed that it was only your second time.” You found his inexperience weirdly sexy. You plan to do some things that he’s never done before.

You spend a little while laying in bed with Castiel, recuperating and talking. You stand up to stretch and hear him make an appreciative noise. You turn around to see him laying on his side, staring at you, his hand stroking his already hard cock. His sudden arousal at just simply looking at your naked body awakens a carnal need inside of you. You lean down on the bed and kiss Castiel passionately. You slowly kiss down his neck and chest, giving his cute nipples little nibbles, and make your way slowly closer to his throbbing member. When you get to his hip bones, you stop to straddle Castiel’s chest and finally put your lips to his dick. You start out with a simple kiss to the tip, but then immediately wrap your lips around the head. He lets out a delicious groan that drives you to continue, but he surprises you when he grabs your hips and pulls you back over his face. He holds you there firmly as he begins an onslaught of pleasure on your clit with his tongue. You work hard, moaning and sucking on his cock, trying to focus on doling out as much pleasure as you receive. You begin to slightly grind on his face, which makes him buck up and go further into your mouth in return. You feel a moan of approval tickle your pussy which makes you try to take even more of Castiel inside. You keep working at it until your face is full of his bush and he can easily fuck your throat. You suddenly feel him tense up and release a salty/sweet goodness into your mouth with a gruff grunt. You swallow every drop he gives you, relishing in the mere fact that this is happening. He has you flipped over and is positioned on his stomach between your legs in seconds. His mouth immediately goes back to your clit, he enters you with two fingers, roughly. He looks up at you, his blue eyes focused intently on your face, gauging your reactions to his movements. He quickly figures out what you __really__ like and has you cumming like you never have before in no time. He seductively crawls back up to face you with the biggest grin you’ve even seen on his face. He gives you a sweet kiss and lays down, draping himself over you.

You and Castiel lay there for a little while together, until your belly begins to rumble. “We need to get some food in you.” He says, concern apparent in his voice. He stands up and holds out his hand to help you up off the bed. “Why thank you, kind sir.” You reply, a tone of playfulness in your voice, as you grab his hand and stand. You grab your phone before heading to the kitchen with Castiel, both of you still in the nude. You check the time and are appalled to see that’s already close to 5 pm, and that you have a text from Sam asking if things are going ok. You assure him that things are better and check the fridge. You grab some leftovers,heat them up, and begin to eat them silently, eyeing Castiel. He stays quiet as well, but you notice him taking quick glances down at your body as you moved about the kitchen. In the middle of your meal, he stands and moves behind you. He moves a lock of your hair behind your ear and kisses it, moving down to your neck. Suddenly food seems trivial. Cas begins kissing your shoulder as he fondles your breasts and pinches your nipples. You let out a quiet moan and push your butt against his ever growing cock, which makes Castiel grab the back of your neck. He pushes you down so your bent over the table. Every touch grows more urgent and rough than the last as he shoves himself inside of you and slams into you repeatedly. You certainly hadn’t expected something like this from him, but his forcefulness turns you on. He continues to move inside you, your moans and his grunts filling up the empty hallways of the bunker. Your orgasm finally explodes within you causing Castiel to cum too. Except instead of pulling out like he had done before, he fills you with his hot, sticky fluids.

 

Your evening was fun filled with one dirty deed after the other. Castiel could claim all he wanted that he was inexperienced, but he seemed like a pro. Dean had texted you saying they would be headed home in the morning so you could now sleep easy knowing that they boys were ok and you had the best day of your life. You easily fell asleep in Castiel’s arms and had wonderful dreams about him all night.

You wake up with a start, looking around for Castiel. You’re disappointed when he’s not in your room, but shake it off and put on your robe. You head to the kitchen, expecting coffee to be made, something Castiel had done almost every morning, but there was none. A feeling of dread washes over you, but you try to keep your cool. It probably meant nothing.You make coffee, worrying the whole time it brews. You finally are able to grab a cup and slowly make your way out to the library to see Castiel sitting in the same spot that you first saw him in. “Good morning.” You say to him, sounding shaky and unsure. He looks at your solemnly, but replies “Good morning.” as well. “Is it?” You ask, half joking, hoping that you are just over-analyzing the whole situation. “I’m afraid not.” Castiel replies, still sounding sad. “I must leave.”

“Why?”

“I….I just have to.”

“...OK…it’s not because of me…us…is it?” Your voice betrays you, cracking slightly. Tears slowly begin to run down your face. Castiel stands up and rushes to you, wiping the tears off your face. “No….It’s not you….it’s me. I have to go, because of me.” He tries to explain. You laugh a little, “You know that’s one of the oldest breakup lines in the book, right?”

“I’m serious. I thought about it all night as I watched you sleep, held you. I’m not good for you. You need someone….not something.” He looks sincere, but his answer pisses you off. “Are you really telling me what I need?!” You half yell, but he doesn’t back down. “Yes, I am. You. Are. A. Human. You age, you sleep, you eat; I don’t do any of those things.” Castiel’s voice begins to pick up more volume. “Besides, this is forbidden. I gave into temptation yesterday, but I shouldn’t have. I could have very seriously hurt you!” He quiets down, almost to a whisper, “I care about you too much for that. I’m not right, when I’m with you. Anyway, I have to leave. Sam and Dean will be home later today, so you won’t be alone long.” Tears steadily stream down your face as you ask, “Don’t I get a say in this?” Castiel gives you one final, chaste kiss simply says, “No. I’m sorry.” Before you know it he’s out the door and gone.

You wake up to knocking on your bedroom door. “Come in!” You yell. Sam and Dean enter your room. “Hey guys!” You say excitedly as you get up and hug them both. Your happiness to see your friends is immediately replaced with a feeling akin to being kicked in the gut when you remember Castiel left. You had spent all day bawling your eyes out. “Hey Y/N, good to see you too.” Sam laughs as you let go from your hug. “Where’s Cas?” Dean asks. “He said he had something to do. I’m not sure what.” You lie, trying to keep it as cool as possible. “He couldn’t wait until we got back?” Dean sounds annoyed. “I guess not…so you guys just got in? How’d it go?” You add quickly, trying to change the subject. Dean smiles and says, “It went great. We’ll tell you about it over a beer, if you’re interested?”

Later on, you, Sam, and Dean sit at the bar in Lebanon. You were mildly relieved to get out of the bunker and away from constant reminders of only yesterday. Sam and Dean are animatedly telling you about their latest werewolf kills. You drink, listen, and laugh, reply when necessary, but the whole time Castiel is in the back of your mind. Even after you start to feel quite drunk…Castiel. You suddenly feel Dean nudge you, “Hey, Y/N. That guy across the bar keeps making eyes at you. You should go talk to him.” He gives you a little wink and slightly nods his head in the direction of the guy. You look over to see a reasonably attractive guy, but it’s not Castiel, so it doesn’t matter. “Ehh, I’m not feeling that great actually. I think I’m going to walk home.” You say quickly and head out the door before Dean can protest.

Tears stream down your face the whole walk home. It was a cold, long walk, but you didn’t mind the time to think. You loved the Winchesters, but staying in the bunker was going to be hard. You decided not to ever tell the boys about your day with Cas. You didn’t want to make it awkward for them. When you arrive back at the bunker you head to your room and begin to pack. You lay on your bed and listen to music while you wait for the boys to come home so you can slip out quietly. A slow, familiar song plays… Wish We Never Met by Kathleen Wilhoite

__Disappointment stops by from time to time_ _

__To see how I’m doing_ _

__And he came by last night right after you left_ _

__My life in ruins_ _

__When I don’t get what I want_ _

__The spoiled child inside breaks down_ _

__Kicking and screaming_ _

__Praying and dreaming_ _

__For a love,_ _

__Lost and found_ _

__Well, I wish we never_ _

__Wish we never_ _

__Wish never met_ _

__Cause now I’ve got my heart set on you_ _

__Humiliation asked me out last night_ _

__I had nothing else to lose_ _

__So I took a cab to loopy drunk,_ _

__Had conversations_ _

__I couldn’t get through_ _

__And another stranger’s eyes_ _

__Were trying desperately to meet mine_ _

__But I look away, tabs to pay_ _

__Lies to say, like “How are you?”_ _

__“I’m doing fine.”_ _

__Oh, but I wish we never, wish we never_ _

__Wish we never met_ _

__Cause now I’ve got my heart set_ _

__I wish we never, wish we never_ _

__Wish we never met_ _

__Cause now I’ve got my heart set on you_ _

__And I don’t get what I want_ _

__From another stranger’s eyes_ _

__No, and I don’t get what I want_ _

__From another stranger’s eyes_ _

__I wish we never, wish we never_ _

__Wish we never met_ _

__Cause now I’ve got my heart set on you_ _

__Heart set on you…_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! =]


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